My wonderful son,
Throughout your life, your example of courage touched and changed many lives. I hear from your friends now and then about how you changed them, and how often they think about you and miss you. And as you go about your new life a step ahead of us, i want you to know that your legacy lives on here, also.
Every day I listen to you sing and I examine my memories of you- memories that make me laugh and cry and love a little deeper. I miss you so much I can hardly stand it sometimes, but then I read your blogs and laugh through my tears. No matter how many times I read them, they are still funny to me. Besides your quick wit, you also have depth in your thoughts and perceptions that have often taken me by surprise. Even as a child, you taught me. I've written music and poetry with your thoughts and your wisdom. I've been guided by your knowledge and understanding. I remember the time I was giving a lesson at church on the 4th of July and you were chatting online with me. You started sending me links that made my lesson for me. It was a phenomenal experience to see how well-versed you were in the scriptures and how much information you had in your little head. Then there was your talk at Seminary Graduation. I saw a little deeper into your heart that day. I realized that although you never complained about the challenages and discomfort you were accustomed to, the grief wasn't as easy for you as you made it seem, and that you had made a deliberate choice to remain strong and faithful to your values and your positive attitude.
As a child, as a teenager, and as an adult you were always pleasant and fun to be around.
This still continues to inspire me. Even when living became pretty much unbearable and death hung over you, you showed amazing determination to be kind and considerate and gracious. When hope for continuing your life was gone, you did not wallow in self-pity, but instead, directed kind parting words of encouragement to Sara - wishes of love and growth and a happy future. And then you expressed the selfless desire to give all you could of a biological nature to others. That was one of the few times I saw you cry. I knew it hurt you to have to say good-bye, but it had become your nature to do what you had to do with strength and conviction. What a guy! Am I a lucky mom or what??
I love you with all my heart and am so gratefull that you are my son.
~Mama
