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In Our first apartment Ryan and I would stay up late watching movies, and eating Marshmallow Mateys. We also played nintendo 64's Mario Cart so much that while driving we wished we really had turtle shells to shoot at people. Ryan I miss you, and all the silly things we used to do.


August 29, 2009 

Celebration of Life Monument 

Yesterday, I flew to Utah to attend a special event that was held this morning.  The family and extended family of Ryan came together to witness a beautiful ceremony and unveiling of the glass wall honoring organ and tissue donors.  Ryan's name is engraved on the wall on panel 18 row 13.  We appreciate so much the efforts and respect that culminated in what has been named, "The Celebration of Life Monument."  The monument is located on library square in Salt Lake City.  


The monument has been erected to honor those who have given the gift of life through organ and tissue donation.  The monument also serves to increase awareness about this great opportunity to be a hero.


More information is available on this site:

Spider Cheryl

July 30, 2009 12:49 am

Thank you Becky for setting this site up. I miss Ryan every second of everyday. I have felt his spirit with me, very strongly at times. One time in particular, which I will share with you next time we see each other. Mike, myself and all the kids, and a lot of our friends have read Ryan's blogs and notes and have all gained a lot of knowledge, and learned how to be more kind to others. Ryan has been my hero since 1990. Many times while experiencing painful medical procedures I think of 'my' Ryan and all he's been through and it puts what I'm going through easier to handle. As long as I have breath in me I will be proud to share Ryan's life story. I want to live my life like he did. I have ALWAYS, and will always be very proud to be Ryan's spider (aunt). cheryl

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Aug 10, 2009 12:43 PM

We had our best friends kids over for dinner a few weeks ago.  Spencer (their youngest son) just graduated from OHSU dental school had brought a friend who is a surgeon, who was here to observe surgeries at OHSU.  He started to tell me about a back surgery that he had seen, where they had to remove a portion of spinal bone, and of course, it has to be replaced with something.  He said the nurse unwrapped a donor bone, it was a large leg bone, and they used portions of that.  Of course, my 1st thought was of Ryan.  The guy telling us this had NO idea about Ry and the gifts he gave.  I told him Ryan's story, and I got along way through the story before I started to cry,  but I wanted him to know that there is a story behind each and every donated tissue and organ.  And a family who thinks about the 'giver' and the 'receiver' daily.  He was VERY moved by Ryans story and he thanked me several times for sharing it with him.  I told him we had been on both ends of the 'circle'.  Waiting for the gift, and the giving of a gift. 

I think this surgeon will not take biological donations for granted. (not that he ever did, but it's different when they have seen and felt the heartache mixed w/pride from the donor family)

I love you.  I miss you, and I'm crying again...


August 7, 2009


Something happened last week that has Dave and I wondering -- I mean really WONDERING.


After a lot of time and thought, we decided to purchase a $200 recorder that Ryan had recommended to us.  It was delivered to the office on a Thursday. Dave put batteries in it and checked it out, then turned it off and put it in his briefcase to bring home. On Friday, he emptied his briefcase looking for it. The manual was there, but the recorder was not.  He was sure he had put it in his briefcase, but after completely emptying the briefcase and not finding it, and then checking the house and car, he hoped he had left it at work.  He told me about the loss on Saturday, and I told him that I had found his briefcase tipped over when I unloaded the car on Thursday.  We both checked the car and I took my turn completely emptying his briefcase. It is a soft briefcase and I was able to flatten it to be sure the recorder wasn't hiding in it somewhere. We just had to wait until Monday to check the office.


The first thing we did when arriving at the office on Monday was check for the recorder. It was not there. We were very disheartened.  We had not even had a chance to use it.  The only unlikely explanation we could come up with was that the recorder fell out of the briefcase on Thursday and then was knocked out of the car while we unloaded equipment at band practice that night.


Two weeks passed. Then one morning, Dave went to get something out of his briefcase, and there in plain sight was the recorder.  He asked me where I had found it. I thought he was teasing and that he had found it. When each of us were convinced the other was totally serious, we checked the recorder. It had been used.  But we could not hear the recording on it.  No one lives with us, and no one knew about the missing recorder except Dave and I... and Ryan? I suppose a recording from Ryan would have been too much "proof" of life after death, and although I'm certain he would love to have made that mark on our lives, it appears we must continue in faith. 


Meanwhile, we will always ALWAYS wonder about this experience. 





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