Ryan James Close

    I remember Ryan loved getting his 25 cent refills at circle K. We ate at Jamba Juice or A&W. I worked with him at Ross. I usually don't tell people I worked at Ross. I had never been in a Ross store until Ryan took me in and had me fill out an application. I needed a job and Ryan helped me find one. Ryan also helped me find some great music or discover the greatness of other music I already knew: Beck, John Hiatt, Beatles, Beach Boys, Elvis Costello (in no particular order).
    Late at night I would often crave juice. We would go to Raley's and buy juice. I remember standing in the kitchen late one night and Ryan cracked a joke. Nobody laughed because it wasn't funny. He looked at us a little surprised and said "Oh! That wasn't funny?!" As with everything about Ryan, it wasn't what he said but how he said it. His first joke wasn't funny, but his reaction got us laughing hard.   
     Ryan loved to say things that he knew would make me uncomfortable. Unlike other people like that, he persisted even when I tried not to give him the satisfaction of a response.
     With all of Ryan's idiosyncrasies, and he had lots, there was never any doubt that he truly cared about people. He would never hurt anyone. He knew too well what it was to hurt. I love him for that. I love him for his gentleness. I will miss him until I see him again and he says the most strange thing he can think to say to me.

Ryan once saw a can of wet dog food at Wal-Mart. He said "It looks soo good. Let's go to Mcdonalds, and get a MCrib."  He ended up eating two Mcribs. Sooo GROSS!  This came from the guy who taught me to love food.

Glass Wall at the Celebration of Life Monument..  Thinking of that day.  So proud of you, my son. 

Every day I have a new memory of Ryan..most recently I have thought back to the countless conversations we had about my troubles with boys and how to manage my emotions with them.  Ryan always made me realize to expect nothing but the best, always demand respect and no matter what, be with someone who thinks everything you do is the most amazing thing a person could be doing with their life. He, of course, was able to say this in a much more articulate way to get the point across to a stubborn girl like me. He taught me to question things that I was unsure of to appreciate it that much more and to decide how much it really meant to me. He taught me to love myself no matter what stage of my life I was in. He taught me to laugh at my mistakes and faults and to make peace with my failures and setbacks and struggles. He taught me to let loose and be goofy and that it was ok and even if I looked different than everyone else out there, I was being me. He taught me to sing for me, to listen to music that made me happy...even at the sake of his poor ears! He inspired me to research every song with my name in it so i could ask him to Sadie Hawkins in a musical way..he sang "Here's to you Amber Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know" everytime we saw each other. He taught me how to Love someone and to mean it, the way he loves Sara. I search and pray everyday for a man half as amazing as Ryan, and I will not settle for anything less..
I miss you everyday, and I love you Ryan!

I loved to hear Ryan play guitar and sing.  My favorite song was Psycho Killer. He said he will teach me to play guitar someday. I guess I'll wait awhile. I love him very much. Hey Uncle Stinky say hi to Tink for me.