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Becky Berg Notes from Dad, Mom, Sisters, and Sara June 5, 2017
June 4, 2017

It's been 8 years today since Ryan went on ahead of us all.  Texts were shared by family yesterday and today and they are beautiful. I have memorialized them here:  

Dad: "Ive been pondering miracles.  Tami coming to our family was a miracle.  Melody's life-saving surgery was a miracle.  Suzanne's eye surgery another miracle.  Wendy and Marilee were miracles as well.  Ryan received approximately 968.4 million heartbeats from his 2 transplants. But the greatest miracle I, as a father have experienced, is when Ryan's last heartbeat took place and he crossed the veil to join ones there 8 hears ago tomorrow.  But we miss you Ryan."

Melody:  "Happy Earth Day Graduation Eve to our big bad beloved brother.  We miss him, but he's with us, hopefully building a nice mansion for us...and pleading my case!!  Miss you Ryan!!!"

Suzanne:  "Yes, happy Earth Day Graduation Ryan!  Love you and miss you every day!  Thankful for such a wonderful family. "

Tami: " Love you RyRy.  Miss you so very much.  Love you Daddy. Love you sisters.  I would be lost without all of you.  Thank you for being my family and the people I love with all my heart no matter what. "

Sara:  "I miss his smile, blue eyes, and the way he could keep a straight face while being completely sarcastic.  I miss how deeply he could love or hate certain movies or music.  I miss his scars, as they represented all the Miracles and pain that he had endured through his life.  I miss how he cared more for others than he ever did for himself.  I really miss hearing him sing and the sond of his guitars.  I love him greatly.  I also miss all of you.  When he passed away I thought all of my dreams had passed away with him.  I was terrified.  I am grateful it wasn't completely true.  I have been incredibly blessed to be remarried and to have my babies.  I will always love my Ryan.  I know he watches over us and knows why things had to work out the way they have.  Oh the day we meet agian will be a blessing Beyond Words!   I love you all!  C9PBPHNS!"

Mom:  "What an emotional day it has been reading all of your words and thoughts and memories.  Sara,  you always melt my heart, but especially this time.  I feel so blessed to have this pain of loss, because it is born of so much fun, joy, and love.  And every day I feel a sense of gratitude I can't express for all of my incredibly amazing children and for the comfort of knowing love always keeps us connected, near or far, and will forever."
Mom Seems Like Yesterday May 27, 2013
As I listen to the music you created for your Sr Project I still can hardly believe you were able to accomplish so much in so little time.  I guess we could say that about everything you set out to do in life.  Learning to sing, to play bass, to use fancy recording equipment, then write and record a song -- all in less than 2 months -- was an undertaking nothing short of a miracle! But now I look back and see it was an appropriate overature for a remarkable life.  You kept your stage bright with humor, love, inspiration, insightful commentaries, and of course, music.  As the final curtain fell, we all felt we had been a part of something amazing and awesome.  With great reverence we remember how you endured suffering and pain we can't even imagine.  We remember your positive attitude and your sense of humor, but never self pity.  I don't know how you did so well.  I remember when you told us that you needed to be released from our determination that you should live.  It was hard for you to tell us.  I remember how you apologized for disappointing us and how I assured you that we wanted you to do what you said you knew was right, even if it meant being taken off the transplant list and preparing for death. Remember that beautiful morning when your last wish was granted? - You got to experience a few minutes outside the ICU in the beautiful morning air.  I remember that it took several people to guide your wheelchair with all of the poles full of equipment and medications.  And I remember how you took it all in for one last look at the world outside of the hospital. You shed no tears, and yet I saw in your longing eyes something I have never found words to describe.  Crisp mornings, mountain air, lazy sunshine, feeling fine, making plans, Tuesday tamales, learning new things, playing guitar, loving Sara - all that had been part of your enthusiastic happy life had come to an abrupt end.  You were quietly courageously, gratefuly putting it all away, releasing it

I't's hard for me to fathom that it has been 4 years since that day.  I can still feel the cool air and see your beautiful blue eyes against your yellowing jaundiced skin.  I remember the solemnity of that moment.  It was sadder than any moment of my life and it was just as  triumphant.  You were going home to report on 23 years well spent.  
Hey Ryan! Long time no see eh? Just decided I would drop in to say hi, miss you a ton big guy! Hope you're having fun. Because fun is fun ya know? Anywho love you, you little buggar! 
Hi Ryan, just stopped in for a visit. I thaink about you every day.
Hey Ryan! I miss you so much. Today Gabe is getting baptized. :) I wish you could come and celebrate with us. I love you. Gabe does not seem like he is eight already. Maybe it is because he is so little. I miss you so much!
~ Love you
Total Memories: 94
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